Body checking & comparison

Is it possible to stop body checking

Now let me preface this with the fact that I have an eating disorder and body dysmorphia meaning I see my body in ways that others do not. Today is rough. Okay this whole week has been rough. My body is definitely not a wonderland and John Mayer is full of crap.  I have worked to be “okay” with my body most days. However this week the word okay has flown right out the window. Every chance I get I’m grabbing my stomach or rubbing my neck. I fear seeing myself in the mirror but I secretly hope I can catch a glance, so I can pick myself apart. And the crazy part? When I see myself I am disappointed. Not disgusted but disappointed. Disappointed because I don’t look like a Brazilian model or a Jenner Kardashian. Diet culture has convinced me that if I just lose weight, if I just become prettier that things will be better. And the really twisted feature of this nearly 100 billion dollar culture is that they have convinced me that my body type can change if I just buy or do everything in the they are the solution to all of our problems.

  • Remember how far I have come. I actually have pictures of MYSELF on my blog. Uh what?! That would not have happened in earlier recovery.
  • You don’t have to love your body. Hell, you may not even really like your body but you can work to accept and respect your body. I had a dietician that taught me this during my treatment and it was one of the moments where recovery started to click.
  • Go on body positive websites or Instagram accounts. Sometimes you need a little pick me up of badass babes showing you that they love who they are! You will feel empowered seeing the support shown on the accounts. I recommend Meghan Crabbe
  • Self-love takes time. I am not the girl that is going to hop into a bikini on Instagram and embrace every part of herself. Not right now and not for awhile. I have years of unlearning I must do before I even begin to try that level of self-love. Those women who are embracing every part of themselves did not open an Instagram account and watch their body image issues float away. Remember that healing and an unlearning process needs to take place. There are more blogsand literature popping up in the world of social media you can access if you want to learn about self-love, the diet culture and female empowerment.
  • Don’t blame yourself. We are battling a culture focused on photoshopped standards of beauty. Start taking time to educate yourself on the fatphobic world we are raised. Lesson 1: Being thin means being happy is a LIE.
  • Try not to be your harshest critic. I am embracing the fact that I had McDonalds for lunch and it’s not the end of the world. Good job accepting yourself Randi.

I’ve been there. I am there.